We rush to much. We ponder too little. We give up to fast. Taking time to think allows us to build the strength we need. Taking action is most important. Your why helps build your reasons. Your reasons build your resolve. Your resolve helps you commit. Committed decisions determine all actions. Actions done deliberately are more impactful than rushed motions. Slow down, ponder, and take calculated action.
While sales is a physical business process, it is an emotional one as well. When we sell something we have to connect logically as well as emotionally. Everyone needs to sell something. Whatever you sell, make sure the person buying is connected to the solution both logically and emotionally. If you can meet their emotional needs, then you can satisfy their physical needs. Applies to more than just sales.
Fear kills. Fear kills thoughts. Fear kills actions. Fear is the number one killer of dreams. Fear is the number one killer of achievement. The only way to stop a killer is to find them first. Like any good detective, to find a killer you must ask questions. Find out why you are afraid… What is making you feel this way? Who are you afraid of? Why? Is the fear real? Are there alternative realities? When do you feel most afraid? What can you do about it?
Understanding yourself is key to understanding others. You cannot give something away that you do not have…(unless you are trading options.) Gain knowledge so you can share. Gain wisdom so you can advise. Gain confidence so you can uplift. The more you help better yourself, the more you can develop others. We are all connected to each other, strengthen the entire community by fortifying your own foundation first.
When you think you are alone. You are wrong. When you feel like you are alone. That is your fault. Emotions are controllable. Pay attention to how you feel so you can adjust accordingly.
When you have a plan you have some control. When the plan is aligned with your mission you have more control. When the actions you take align with your plan your are in full-control.
Fakeness is when we are hiding. Fakeness is when we are lying about what we are. Fakeness is when we are something we shouldn’t be. Fakeness isn’t real though. Fakeness is about others judging you. If you are acting in a certain way, those actions are real and so you are real and there is nothing fake. Actions are not faked…. The emotions, meaning, the truth behind the actions can be fake… but the actions themselves are always TRUE.
You will never get what you want. You get what you decide.
You will become who you decide to become. Not what you want, not what you desire, but what you decide. Every true decision is followed by action. Your success and fulfillment is based on the decisions you make.
When the world is open before you, life is exciting and fulfilling. The fewer options you have, the more you come to resent those options.
Accept what is, and change what isn’t.
Sometimes we know what we should do. Sometimes we don’t. We all make mistakes, mine are too numerous to list in one article…
Even though our career is a journey, we often think we don’t need a map. We do.
We need to have a destination and we need to have a plan, not a plan to tell us what to do, but to adjust correctly as we face the realities of the road.
These are lessons when applied will help us make the best decisions, no matter our destination:
Find a Mentor, Get Feedback & Listen
This is the number one thing I wish I would have done sooner. If you do only one thing early in your career, make sure you find a mentor and listen to them. We can never learn all we need to by experience. Mentors help save you time because they have the experience we all so desperately need.
“Most mentors are leaders. Most leaders are readers, and many readers are also writers.” – Chris Spurvey
Your thoughts determine your decisions. Your decisions determine your actions. If you want make positive change, think positively. You get what you think about. (So maybe you do get what you desire, if you make a choice and then act…)
“…focus vigilantly on being positive, and having a positive mindset, believing in yourself and what is possible, and your world changes for the better.” – Kathy Caprino
Do the Work
If you can get the job done and eventually master your craft, your skills will always be retained. You will have the ability to be productive, provide for yourself, and hopefully make a difference in the world.
“To be able to do a thing, you must begin to do it, and keep doing it until the thing is mastered.” – James Allen
Stay Excited About What You Are Doing
Passion can be choice. Whatever you do, do it with passion. Choose to be fully engaged and you will be rewarded financially, mentally, and socially.
“Passion is the secret to many success stories.” – Lolly Daskal
Love the Process
While we have goals and desired outcomes, what we learn and experience becomes who we are. The journey is the refiners fire, or the masters hand, as we are molded and shaped to become the best version of ourselves. Love the process so life is not based on “What’s Next?” ideas that sap creativity and fulfillment.
“Life is hard. Pain is inevitable. Growth is optional. Real success comes from who you become, not what you achieve.” – LaRae Quy
Gratitude increases overall well-being. You will be happier as you show more gratitude. Your life will get better. You will gain more confidence.
Your level of gratitude determines your level of happiness, as well as your potential for success. It’s difficult to be happy without gratitude.” – Bob Burg
Ask for Help
People want to help. Let them. The more you are helped, the more you can help others. Let go of pride and let other people be involved with your success.
“By showing you respect and trust other people, and by giving them the latitude to freely share their expertise or knowledge, you don’t just get the help you think you want. You might also get the help you really need.” – Jeff Haden
Be Kind. Focus on the needs of others. The more people you help, the more success you will have. The best way you will help others is by sharing your true self. Be vulnerable. Your journey can help other people find the strength they need.
“Your Kindness Will Lead You to Success” ― Bruce Kasanoff
Learn to Ask Better Questions
Most people don’t ask enough questions. Most people don’t ask good questions. Questions help you learn more and build better relationships.
“Questions enable you to connect… Personal relationships build loyalty in a way that expertise or brilliance doesn’t!” – Andrew Sobel
Ask your questions. Study more. Be an expert in everything you do. Read more. Share more. Teach others. Keep learning.
“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” – Walt Disney
Relationships Always Win
Some people say results are the only thing that matters. Of course, duh! What happens when the results are equal or hard to differentiate? Relationships. Build better relationships. Change your mindset from inward focused, to the needs of others and all of your relationships will improve 100%.
“…the biggest lever for change is not a change in self-belief but a fundamental change in the way one sees and regards one’s connections with and obligations to others.” – The Arbinger Institute
Bringing It All Together…
Decide and do. Everything gets easier once a decision is made. You are far more strong than you realize. You will help many more people than you can imagine. Work hard and help others. Your life is made up by the relationships you have, focus on relationships and your life will be better.
Your reality doesn’t need to be amazing to be real. Reality is already amazing. Living in the present and taking action is what gives us hope for a better future. The more we can understand each other and focus on today, the better will be our tomorrow. And that is real.
Early in my professional (post-university) career I was attending a conference in Paris. It was exciting working for an established and respected firm and meeting with important clients. At a cocktail reception I started talking with a big player in the ethanol industry. He asked me: “What can we discuss that will help both of us?” I said something that I thought made sense. It didn’t. In all reality, I did not know what my purpose was or the main purpose of the company for attending the conference. I didn’t ask the right questions and the managers never bothered to fill me in. I missed out on that opportunity and probably many more. The ball was dropped by all sides. I should have cared more, the managers should have cared more. We missed potential clients and never maximized others because of the lack of communication.
When relationships are built on solid communication, the chance for the relationship to grow increases.
There are hundreds of ways to mess up a relationship. Most of the reasons can be put under the category of not caring enough. When you don’t care, you lose trust. Trust is more than just communication, it is also action. But, communication is very important. Relationships grow through trust.
9 WAYS TRUST GROWS:
When you care about the purpose (the why) of all you do.
When you respect where others are coming from through empathy – with special attention to their knowledge, experience, state of mind, values, beliefs, and needs.
When you want the best for the other person.
When you act with politeness and appreciation.
When you help others meet their desires, dreams, and goals.
When you invest your time, commitment, and voice.
When you show genuine concern, care, and compassion.
When the relationship is more important than any single outcome.
When you are a giver by giving without expectation of return.
The most important way of all to build trust with people is to have unconditional love for them, in a similar way that parents and children have love for each-other.
Have you had any experiences where you learned the hard way about building trust through caring and communication?