When you are confident you understand the difference between wants and needs. When you are insecure everything you want feels like a need. Confidence enables growth because you are able to make decisions that are based on reality and clarity. A lack of confidence creates confusion and despair. To build confidence find courage. Take action, do more, repeat. Confidence comes from doing. Doing the right thing is courage (even when you are scared, afraid, suffering, and hurting).
Focus on your needs first, then focus on the needs of others. Once your needs are met, you can begin to attain what you want and help others do the same.