Simple Steps to Increase Your Confidence


I used to think that confident people showed confidence through their outgoing personalities. I was wrong. Personality type is not an indicator of confidence. Extroverts are often lacking in self-esteem. Introverts often have confidence to spare. Confidence is created through consistent actions that can be adjusted. The more we work to develop our confidence the stronger we become.

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” Barrie Davenport

Successful people show confidence—they truly believe in what they are doing and in themselves. Their success does not make them confident; their confidence makes them successful.

“Nothing can stop the (wo)man with the right mental attitude from achieving his/her goal; nothing on earth can help the (wo)man with the wrong mental attitude.” Thomas Jefferson

Confidence is not permanent. Some days you might have a strong sense of belief in who you are and what you are capable of. Other days might exist where you think you can’t do anything right. Maybe even this emotional switch happens multiple times throughout the same day? They main thing to keep in mind is that there are ways to keep the feeling of self-worth longer by practicing a few basic habits.

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” T. Harv Eker

Remember that:

  • Emotions are contagious. Enthusiasm is multiplied. Doubt is shared. Confidence is a feeling of strength and can be spread.
  • Trying new things take confidence.
  • The only one stopping us from reaching our goals is ourselves.
  • With training and practice everyone can become more confident.
  • Confidence can be influenced from external forces, but the strongest most lasting form of confidence comes from within.

With those key items in place, here are 5 simple steps that lead to more confidence:

1. Change Your Self-Talk

Your life is a reflection of you inner thoughts

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. You have the ability to tell yourself what you believe about yourself. Tell yourself you are valuable, important, and good enough. Stop listening to those people who do not support you.

2. Find a Mentor

Find some one who supports you and wants you to succeed. Have them give you constant feedback and encouragement.

3. Be a Mentor

Stop thinking only about yourself – helping others is a great way to learn, grow, and realize your contributions are needed.

4. Exercise

Just do it. You will be happier and more confident. Trust me.

5. Keep Going

Confidence is created one step at a time. Once you are able to prove to yourself that you can complete an assignment or that you can finish a project, your confidence rises. The more you do, the more you CAN do.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Dale Carnegie

by Mareo McCracken

Benefits of Gratitude on Performance

Gratitude=Increased Performance

Gratitude is the number one indicator of people I like. Really. Looking back at all of my relationships, the people I am the closest with are the ones who are the most grateful. It causes me to pause and ask myself two things:

  1. Am I the type of person I want to be friends with?
  2. Why? Why are the people I connect with the ones who are the most grateful?

Interestingly, these people also are great performers. They perform professionally, emotionally, socially, physically, and with family. They succeed because they learn and grow.

Success is about not only about results, it is about learning from setbacks and striving for constant progress. It is about taking what you have – what you have been given – and making the most with it. Performance is about living up to your capabilities. Performance is about execution. Having an idea or strategy and then finding a way to get it done. Often we look at the hard skills need to perform, yet your emotional state is just as important.

Positive Psychology is an academic field that studies happiness. According to positive psychologists Ken Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky, there is research that says that up to 40 percent of your happiness comes from activities that you choose to do. When you are happier, you perform better in all aspects of your lives. Your work product improves. Your relationships get strengthened.

“When we are happy—when our mindset and mood are positive—we are smarter, more motivated, and thus more successful. Happiness is the center, and success revolves around it.”  – Shawn Achor

In the search for uncovering the secret to happiness, positive psychology keeps returning to the same concept: gratitude. In multiples studies, researchers have found that if people are purposefully engaged in trying to become more grateful, they are more likely to become happier. Gratitude is a feeling. It is an emotion we choose to have based on our willingness to appreciate the good that is around us.

From the Harvard Medical School Health Publications:

“Another leading researcher in this field, Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, tested the impact of various positive psychology interventions on 411 people, each compared with a control assignment of writing about early memories. When their week’s assignment was to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had never been properly thanked for his or her kindness, participants immediately exhibited a huge increase in happiness scores. This impact was greater than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month.”

Amy Morin, Author of the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,  wrote an article in Forbes that shows 7 Scientifically Proven Ways that gratitude enhances your life:

  1. Gratitude opens the door to more relationships. 
  2. Gratitude improves physical health.
  3. Gratitude improves psychological health.
  4. Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression.
  5. Grateful people sleep better.
  6. Gratitude increases mental strength.
  7. Gratitude improves self-esteem.

Showing gratitude privately and publicly creates happiness. In my life, I have found that people who do certain things are able to experience increased levels of happiness through gratitude.

Three ways to develop gratitude:

  1. Journal it! Write down daily what you are thankful for. Every morning write down 10 things you are grateful for. Every night before you fall asleep write down another 10 things you are thankful for. Our words create our world. Our thoughts define our reality.
  2. Tell it! Each day commit to telling one person why you are thankful for them. It could be a friend, spouse, co-worker, child, taxi driver, grocery store cashier… anyone. Telling people you are thankful for them increases your awareness, and creates happiness in others. Do more than say “Thank You”. Be specific as to why you are thankful and even better write them a letter.
  3. Forget it! All obstacles, struggles, pain and setbacks are only as powerful as we allow them to be. Letting go of the bad, letting go of the negative – is as important as focusing on the good

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    . Dwell only on what can help you achieve your potential and discard the rest.

Being constantly happy is not realistic or even practical. We need adversity. Our well-being is determined by the meaning we give to each situation. We can choose to feel happy based on actions we take. Pain and struggle are vital for growth and mastery. The meaning we apply to the pain is what really determines our happiness. If we can be thankful for the experiences and appreciate what is happening, we then are in control over our personal happiness. Be thankful. Tell others you appreciate them. Ignore the negative. Do those things and you will develop gratitude and find more happiness and be more confident and be more successful.

**Jeff Haden collected 40 incredible quotes on gratitude for this Inc. Article. andDave Kerpen tells a story and shares 15 more for this Inc. Article.**

Mareo McCracken