Increase Your Potential by Strengthening Others

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Sometimes we don’t live up to our potential…why?

Sometimes we underestimate the power we have to influence others…why?

Sometimes we let the actions of others determine our own…why?

Like a sticker in a coloring book, labels are easy to apply, hard to remove. We accept the labels others give us with out truly testing the validity. If we believe the story other people tell us about ourselves, we will never become who we are supposed to. We must be stronger. We tell ourselves our own story. We must only allow our minds to believe the labels that help push us toward our goals.

In order to strengthen yourself, strengthen others:
1. Show gratitude.
2. Compliment effort and achievement.
3. Find a problem, solve it.

Don’t Be Foolish, Be WISE & Use Your Fears to Create Success

EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE

There is a Chinese proverb that says:

“When I was afraid, I was foolish. I am still afraid, but now I am wise.”

Well, not sure if it really is a Chinese proverb, I heard it Cantonese while in Hong Kong from a gray-haired, goat-teed, street-chess player as his opponent was pondering the next move. It sounds like it should be a proverb though, maybe it is…

Foolishness is acting immediately on impulses; acting on what we think is easiest. Foolishness comes by not learning from our mistakes. Fear can drive success or fear can encourage foolishness. Fear is evidenced in letting our actions be determined by outside influences.

I was afraid so many times in my life. I was afraid every time I tried out for sports teams from junior high through high school. I was afraid when I tried-out and made the BYU football team as a walk-on. I was afraid when I moved to Hong Kong, London, New York, Yuma, San Diego, and Houston. I was afraid when I wanted to ask my future wife to dance. I was afraid when I got fired. I was afraid when I became a father. I was afraid when I was promoted to lead a sales team. I am still afraid. I am afraid when I talk to customers. I am afraid when I teach classes. I am afraid I will not add value. I am afraid I will not serve enough.

Fear is the number 1 reason we do not achieve our potential. Fear kills success. Fear prevents action. Overcoming fear is a skill all of us can learn. Just like a muscle, the more we use it, the stronger it gets. Overcoming fear is not a race. It takes time.

Successful people understand that fear can be used as a tool to drive success. They have experience. They are have done it before. They are WISE:

W:       Welcome The Fear
I:          Interrogate The Fear
S:         Separate The Fear
E:         Employ The Fear

USING FEAR TO CREATE SUCCESS

Fear is often an obstacle. Overcoming obstacles increases our confidence. When we are W.I.S.E. with our fears we are in control. When we are W.I.S.E. we are becoming the masters of our own emotions and more importantly, the masters of our actions. Embrace your fears. Interrogate your fears then separate your fears from your own sense of self-worth, and finally employ your fears to help motivate you take the needed action that will drive you to success. I am proud of my fear. Now, I let my fear serve me. Success is always found on the other side of fear.

10 Traits of Confident People

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage...Go out and get busy.” —Dale Carnegie

  1. They take responsibility. They don’t blame others. No matter what the circumstance is, a confident person understands that ownership of results, feelings, and emotions is the only true path to success.
  2. They focus on their strengths. Confident people know their strengths and weaknesses, they understand their abilities and they continuously look to improve themselves while focusing on using their strengths.
  3. Confident people crave progress. They don’t aspire for perfection, they drive for improvement. To a confident person, the “perfect person” is one who knows who they really are and fully embraces their own possibilities. Improvement is a choice as well as a journey.
  4. They uplift others, they don’t gossip. Confident people don’t talk about other people, they talk about ideas, projects,  goals, plans and aspirations. They recognize the importance of staying neutral.
  5. They understand the ‘Power’ of saying no. Confident people don’t over-promise. They understand the value of time and effort and are conscious to commit to things that are aligned with their ultimate goals, passions, and beliefs. By doing this, confident people can give their 100% at all times.
  6. The focus on the end goal and the actions needed to get there. They don’t waste their time worrying. Time is valuable. Confident people spend their energy on what they can control, on their circle of influence.
  7. They honor their bodies and minds. Confident people know that they need to take care of themselves to do and be their best. They value balance which includes exercise, hard-work, relationships, eating well, education, and sleep.
  8. They know their “WHY”.  The reason behind the action drives the enthusiasm. They are excited, dedicated, passionate and fearless.  They share their passion with others.
  9. They ask for help. Often. Confident people know that trying to accomplish everything alone is not possible. Confident people don’t feel threatened by seeking help from others. Confident people love helping others, but also love getting helped.
  10. They view failure as a learning moment. They don’t see failures as the end but instead as a tool to grow. They recognize that on the road to success there will always be trials, challenges, and obstacles but they know that perseverance always wins in the end.

Simple Steps to Increase Your Confidence

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I used to think that confident people showed confidence through their outgoing personalities. I was wrong. Personality type is not an indicator of confidence. Extroverts are often lacking in self-esteem. Introverts often have confidence to spare. Confidence is created through consistent actions that can be adjusted. The more we work to develop our confidence the stronger we become.

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” Barrie Davenport

Successful people show confidence—they truly believe in what they are doing and in themselves. Their success does not make them confident; their confidence makes them successful.

“Nothing can stop the (wo)man with the right mental attitude from achieving his/her goal; nothing on earth can help the (wo)man with the wrong mental attitude.” Thomas Jefferson

Confidence is not permanent. Some days you might have a strong sense of belief in who you are and what you are capable of. Other days might exist where you think you can’t do anything right. Maybe even this emotional switch happens multiple times throughout the same day? They main thing to keep in mind is that there are ways to keep the feeling of self-worth longer by practicing a few basic habits.

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” T. Harv Eker

Remember that:

  • Emotions are contagious. Enthusiasm is multiplied. Doubt is shared. Confidence is a feeling of strength and can be spread.
  • Trying new things take confidence.
  • The only one stopping us from reaching our goals is ourselves.
  • With training and practice everyone can become more confident.
  • Confidence can be influenced from external forces, but the strongest most lasting form of confidence comes from within.

With those key items in place, here are 5 simple steps that lead to more confidence:

1. Change Your Self-Talk

Your life is a reflection of you inner thoughts. You have the ability to tell yourself what you believe about yourself. Tell yourself you are valuable, important, and good enough. Stop listening to those people who do not support you.

2. Find a Mentor

Find some one who supports you and wants you to succeed. Have them give you constant feedback and encouragement.

3. Be a Mentor

Stop thinking only about yourself – helping others is a great way to learn, grow, and realize your contributions are needed.

4. Exercise

Just do it. You will be happier and more confident. Trust me.

5. Keep Going

Confidence is created one step at a time. Once you are able to prove to yourself that you can complete an assignment or that you can finish a project, your confidence rises. The more you do, the more you CAN do.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Dale Carnegie

by Mareo McCracken