9 Things About Building Trust Insiders Don’t Want You to Know

Early in my professional (post-university) career I was attending a conference in Paris

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. It was exciting working for an established and respected firm and meeting with important clients. At a cocktail reception I started talking with a big player in the ethanol industry. He asked me: “What can we discuss that will help both of us?” I said something that I thought made sense. It didn’t. In all reality, I did not know what my purpose was or the main purpose of the company for attending the conference. I didn’t ask the right questions and the managers never bothered to fill me in. I missed out on that opportunity and probably many more. The ball was dropped by all sides. I should have cared more, the managers should have cared more. We missed potential clients and never maximized others because of the lack of communication.

When relationships are built on solid communication, the chance for the relationship to grow increases.

There are hundreds of ways to mess up a relationship. Most of the reasons can be put under the category of not caring enough. When you don’t care, you lose trust. Trust is more than just communication, it is also action. But, communication is very important. Relationships grow through trust.


  1. When you care about the purpose (the why) of all you do.

  2. When you respect where others are coming from through empathy – with special attention to their knowledge, experience, state of mind, values, beliefs, and needs.

  3. When you want the best for the other person.

  4. When you act with politeness and appreciation.

  5. When you help others meet their desires, dreams, and goals.

  6. When you invest your time, commitment, and voice.

  7. When you show genuine concern, care, and compassion.

  8. When the relationship is more important than any single outcome.

  9. When you are a giver by giving without expectation of return.

The most important way of all to build trust with people is to have unconditional love for them, in a similar way that parents and children have love for each-other.

Have you had any experiences where you learned the hard way about building trust through caring and communication?

originally published at richtopia