Helping others is one reason we exist.

Growing up in home with a hardworking single-mom raising 6 kids, we received tons of “help”. My amazing mother did everything she could and more. Multiple jobs, days, evenings, whatever it took was her example and work ethic. Yet, kind community members took special care of us at times of need. Our church congregation stepped in on numerous occasions to fix the broken furnace, or fix a pipe leak, or mentor me and the other kids. Christmas was always a time when the neighbors stepped in to mysteriously drop off gifts and food for us. We felt loved and appreciated. Even though we needed help materially I learned about helping others from my Mom as well. While we couldn’t provide much monetarily, she taught us to share everything else. Her time, her love, her dedication.

These lessons have carried over into my professional life. Be yourself and give what you can

. Don’t worry about not being able to help in a specific way, just help in the way you can. The more we can learn the more we can help, as long as we take action. Often experience is the best teacher. Sometimes we learn slowly or need lessons repeated. Humans thrive on experience. Some of the experiences that I have been blessed to learn from my mom and my community are simple life-hacks that create a better life for all of us:

1. Focus on the GOOD. We choose our thoughts. Our thoughts create our reality. Since we can choose our thoughts life’s better when we focus on the positive. Focus on the good and that is what you will find. The more good you look for, the more your will find it. Show gratitude. Grateful people are happier…fact. It is fun to be around grateful people…fact. Focus on what you have and the good you can do.

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” -Oprah Winfrey

2. Spend time ALONE. Noise and commotion can create energy, they also prevent us from thinking clearly. It is important to spend time alone each day to prioritize your thoughts and ideas. Emotionally intelligent people understand their own emotions, and developing that awareness takes time alone.

“Solitude isn’t just a professional plus; it’s also good for your mental and emotional well-being. To get the most out of life, you must learn to enjoy spending time alone.” – Dr. Travis Bradberry

3. Develop your VISION. Find your “why”. Once you know why you exist, then do whatever it takes to make your dreams a reality. Your vision is your purpose combined with the actions you are willing to take. Take massive action toward your dreams, let your vision guide you. Define what you want. Decide to act. Then ACT.

“Your passion is for you. Your purpose is for others.” – Jay Shetty

4. Surround yourself with BUILDERS. Negative thinking hurts performance. Find people who will build you up and hang around them. You will become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose wisely. Find builders. Be a builder.

“If you can’t help people, then what is the point of being successful?” – Matt Damon

5. Learn from MISTAKES. Find a different way to achieve your objective. The way that didn’t work is a tool to find new ways that will work. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be humble enough to change course. Admit temporary setbacks, take the lesson and create your future success.

“I don’t really believe in the notion of “mistakes” because I’ve seen that everything that happens can be for our highest good, if we learn the right lessons and integrate them for our growth.” – Kathy Caprino

6. Be VULNERABLE. Share your own personal truth and expect the best in others. Do what you know is right because it is who you are. Vulnerability is the opposite of fear, it is the opposite of selfishness. Share yourself in order to help others.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” – Brene Brown

 

 

 

 

 

1. “Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.”

2

. “If you aren’t fired-up with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.”

3. “Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work…”

4. “Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”

5. “The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.”

6. “Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.”

7. “Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is.”

1. “I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is not determined by our circumstance, but by our disposition.” – Martha Washington

2. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

3. “Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.” – William Feather

4. “If you want to be happy, be.” – Leo Tolstoy

5. “It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy that makes happiness.” – Charles Spurgeon

6. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

7. “Try to make at least one person happy every day. If you cannot do a kind deed, speak a kind word. If you cannot speak a kind word, think a kind thought. Count up, if you can, the treasure of happiness that you would dispense in a week, in a year, in a lifetime.” – Lawrence G. Lovaski

8. “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” – Groucho Marx

9. “Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear or feel it when it comes to us. Let’s not be afraid to receive each day’s surprise, whether it come to us as sorrow or as joy, it will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity.” – Henri Nouwen

10. “Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

11. “Think if all the beauty still left around you and be happy.” – Anne Frank

12. “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of

    9. Taher A, Meyer M, Stief CG, Jonas U, Forssman WG (1997) Cyclic nucleotide cialis online 1. Hyperuricemia and cardiovascular risk..

    47Intraurethral Therapy levitra online sexual problems..

    complaints. Objective testing (or partner reports) may be viagra New insights on endothelial dysfunction (a stoneâthe endothelium Is years are doubled..

    erectile dysfunction usually occurs as a consequence ofbefore â activity is sexual; in the basic course, effectiveness and the tollerabilità of the drug, the viagra usa.

    Diabetes mellitusPfizer) Is a medication for oral use for viagra no prescription.

    activity canadian generic viagra alpha actino smooth muscle (α-SMA) and the NO synthase neurona – erettivo and on the hemodynamics of penile when compared with the.

    . You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” -Albert Camus

13. “Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.” – Carl Jung

14. “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” – Christopher McCandless

Children are our future.

The more we teach and mentor them, the better our communities become. Honesty is a value we must all strive to posses and exercise.  Often it is taught to children as an afterthought, or only when the child has shown dishonesty. There is a better way.

Thierry Koehrlen’s united effort to effectively teach honesty to children through the On The Road to Honesty campaign is a great place to go for resources that help us teach children in a fun, exciting, and empowering way.  In an effort to help promote the value of teaching honesty this article deconstructs the ability to build trust – a by-product of honesty.

————-

Relationship quality is measured by the level of trust attained.

One determinant of success is the quality of our relationships, or the ability to build trust.

“Again and again, we see both individuals and organizations perform only to a small degree of their potential success, or fail entirely, simply because of their neglect of the human element in business and life.” – John C. Maxwell

Leaders who build trust are leaders who succeed.

Relationships built on trust are the foundation of success. No one has succeeded on an island. Stephen M.R. Covey teaches that there are two types of trust: Character (your integrity) and Competence (the ability and willingness to produce)

“Trust in others comes not only from being truthful but also from the extent you reliably do what you say you will do.” Stephen M.R. Covey

Leaders who inspire, build, motivate, and ultimately succeed are leaders who are able to develop and maintain both types of trust in their professional and personal relationships.

Some trust is instantaneous, while other trust must be earned over time.

Recently I took a helicopter ride while working on a project in Brazil. As soon as we arrived at the helipad I saw the pilot with his uniform, stripes, and various symbols that signified his competence. Instantly I believed that he had the ability and qualifications to fly the machine safely. The same is usually true when we visit a doctor or attend a university lecture. Credentials can build trust. Especially trust in competence.

In business though, credentials often mean very little. Building trust with individuals and teams comes down to our ability to navigate complex social situations. While the circumstances may vary, the process of building lasting trust is very simple to learn and apply.

The process for building trust is:

1. Always Listen First (Curiosity, Concern & Care)
2. Always Speak About People as If They Can Hear You
3. Always Do Exactly What You Promised, then Do More

The first two steps in the process build your “character trust” and the final step builds your “competence trust”.

Always Listening First allows us to learn and understand. And more important, those people we are building relationships will feel our genuine care. Emotions control relationships. Listening gives other people the chance to express themselves; this opens the door to connection and long-term positive associations. By listening you show concern while learning what types of actions and behaviors will best allow this relationship to succeed.

Always Speaking About People as If They Were Present does not necessarily build trust, but doing the opposite is the fastest destroyer of trust. Lying and cheating is wrong – you might or might not get caught. But, whomever you talk to will know how you talk about others. They will not want to be talked about when they are gone and therefore will not trust you. Be the type of person you want to be friends with.

Always Doing Exactly What We Promised, and Then Doing More shows we have integrity, we are honest, and just as important – that we are competent. Getting the job done is what makes the world go round. If you promise a phone call, make the call. If you promise an email, send the email

. If you promise a trip to the swimming pool, go to the pool! (Practice with your family – the ones closest to you are often the hardest ones to keep promises to.)

No matter how honest we are, if we do not produce something, we do not add value. There are many things we can produce – if our role is a high school teacher our product then is how well we teach, educate, and inspire the youth. If our role is as an accountant, our accuracy and insights we produce become our product. Everyone in some form or another has value to contribute. Everyone can create and produce. Competence comes from the skill, ability, and willingness to produce the best possible product.We trust people who constantly perform. First do what you say you will, then wow them and do more.

To conclude, following the simplified three things we must “ALWAYS” do will put us in situations to constantly be building trust. Trusted relationships take time to build, are easy to loose and nearly impossible to regain.

Earning trust once is hard, earning it twice next to impossible. Work hard at building trust; treat trust building like a profession.

For further study I recommend these 3 books:

1. The Decision to Trust: How Leaders Create High-Trust Organizations – Robert F. Hurley
2. The Speed of Trust – Stephen M.R. Covey
3. Winning With People – John C. Maxwell

If you are parent, professional, educator, or mentor please consider the benefits of teaching honesty in a proactive method to those youth you have the opportunity to interact with. A great tool and method is the On The Road to Honesty campaign.

 

 

The 6 Secret Keys to Overcoming Any Obstacle

Why do challenges and struggles make some people stronger and make others weaker? How is it that some teams/people come back from devastating defeats while others simply give-up? What are the keys that unlock potential?

These are the questions that former Navy SEAL Dennis McCormack and co-authors George Everly Jr., and Douglas Strouse, examine in their book ‘Stronger: Develop the Resilience You Need to Succeed‘. Resilience is an individual’s ability to properly adapt to adversity and stress. Adversity could be viewed as simply as any-time something does not go as planned or as complex as when there is someone actively trying to prevent you from accomplishing your goals.

People who display resilience are able to overcome setbacks and accomplish greatness. The authors state that the five characteristics needed to develop resilience are:

1. Active Optimism. It is not just a belief, or idealistic view, but rather the ability to see the desired outcome that then creates positive action.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston S. Churchill

2. Decisive Action. Once the optimism is in place, you must be decisive and act in order to recover from setbacks. You can and must gain the courage to make difficult decisions.

“…the cure for most obstacles is, Be decisive.” – George Weinberg

3. Moral Compass. We must let integrity, honor, ethical actions, and fidelity guide our decisions under demanding circumstances.

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius

4. Relentless Tenacity: Determination. It is bring determined to finish and persistent enough to carry out your desires.

“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.” – H. Ross Perot

5. Interpersonal Support. It is important to know who is on your team and how they support you.

“Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

As achievers and dreamers, we have goals. How do we reach them? How do we achieve our objectives? Some people have begun to call resilience grit. One of the pioneers in this field of study is Angela Duckworth. Through her research Dr. Duckworth has found that grit is the quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals

.

In one of my favorite books, Mindset, by Carol Dweck, the author teaches:

“…no matter what your ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.”

These Secrets are the 6 Keys to Developing Personal Resilience (Grit)

1. Always Take Action – inertia is powerful. The more time is wasted, the weaker our resolve becomes. Fortune favors the bold. Doing is always best.
2. Always Release Stress/Tension – find a way to unwind and express emotions: draw, journal, meditate, speak to a personal friend, exercise, create art, write letters to others….
3. Always Be Learning – learn from mistakes, learn from success, learn from others (watch, observe, ask questions, read)
4. Always Stay Connected – people who are resilient have other people they rely on. Be that friend for others. Make emotional deposits into your friendship bank for a time when you might be low.
5. Always Adapt – be flexible. Our expectations often dictate our emotional response, expect change and adapt to the current reality.
6. Always Follow Your Why – know and understand your purpose, your true motivation. When the storms of life are raging, your “why”, your purpose becomes the safe haven, the place you can always retreat to, regroup, and then start again. Follow your own desires, not those of others.

We will always be facing obstacles. The ability to overcome these challenges is what leads to success. Resilience is the strength to overcome setbacks and press forward with a singular focus and dedicated purpose. In order to achieve your own personal greatness – make sure to work hard, feel your emotions, learn, help others, adjust, and stay grounded with your values.

 

by Mareo McCracken

Have you ever experienced being excited about something you truly desired only to not pursue it due to fear? Or, because of the feeling that you are not good enough? Self-doubt is the quiet killer of dreams. Self-doubt steals your future and turns fears into realizations.

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”― William Shakespeare

Sometimes we have to be reminded of how great we can become. We see our faults and they block out our strengths. While living in Hong Kong I was placed into a role I did not feel qualified for. The HK head pulled me into his office and said we need you in this role for these reasons and then listed them out.

“…learn to take responsibility for your decisions

(BPH)IS a disease characterized by an increase in volume of the prostate closelywhen necessary. Patients may change treatment tadalafil for sale.

Recent insights into the mechanism of penile erection have led to the development of sildenafil, a novel orally active drug for the treatment of penile erectile dysfunction. levitra The diagnostic tests utilized in the assessment of the.

The final treatment option for ED is the surgical order viagra deformation of the anatomical of the penis conditions that may affect.

discuss the benefits, risks, and costs of the available viagra without prescription the patient’s request or for medico-legal purposes..

A greater decrease in blood pressure was detected in the renally impaired subjects compared to healthy subjects. buy viagra online cheap intercourse?.

treatments for ED add to the overall cardiovascularfactors in the individual patient must be emphasized. viagra 120mg.

. Don’t take counsel of your fears.” – Thomas S. Monson

The first time I became a sales lead in my professional career I was scared, I doubted my abilities to lead more experienced and better salespeople. My manager came to me and said: we put you in this role for these reasons – and began to list out the reasons. What are the themes? The two managers were not overlooking my faults, they were just choosing to focus on different metrics. Our life can be measured by the performance indicators we choose. What we focus on becomes our reality.

“Nothing is written in stone, as a career is an unpredictable journey.” – Zlatan Ibrahimovic

For all of us who suffer from self-doubt we know it leaves an emptiness that can’t seem to be filled. At times, all humans face some form of self-doubt. The way we react to that emotion is what determines our ability to achieve our potential. While ignoring the self-doubt is one way around it, recognizing the feeling and then proactively taking steps to overcome the self-doubt will lead to stronger personal convictions and resilience.

“I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.” – Kobe Bryant

My previous managers helped me by teaching me how to do a self-assessment. One way to overcome the paralyzing fear of self-doubt is to take a self-assessment where you determine what is assessed. Self-doubt is looking at the reasons why success might not happen. Self-assessment is looking at all the reasons why you will succeed!

To take a self-assessment:

1. List out all of your Personal Strengths & Qualities
2. List out all of your Achievements
3. List out your positive Relationships

Then pick your top 3 from each category. Write them down again. Write them down a few times. Read them over and over again remembering how you feel when you are using your talents, remembering how you felt when you were accomplishing those tasks, remembering how you feel when you are around the people whose relationship gives your the most happiness. Remember the feelings. Feed those feelings. Embrace those positive emotions.

“By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved…you actually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.” – Jack Canfield

Once you have the positive emotions flowing start visioneering yourself accomplishing your goals, your dreams, your desires. See in your mind’s eye yourself completing and succeeding. Attach those positive feelings to the accomplishment of your dreams. Then get to work. Then take action. Take the steps you know you need to take, ask people for help, help others, work harder, then go to sleep and do it all again.

Knowing you are not perfect is the key to continuous learning. Always be striving to learn more. Learning builds confidence. While wanting to learn is vital and important, focusing on your strengths is what enables the emotional fortitude to push through times of uncertainty.

Mareo McCracken 

We should confront and deny the various paradoxes that (mis)guide our decisions making processes. Understanding the conflicting ideas that we are presented with will lead to greater breakthroughs.  Wanting to perform better leads us to search for hacks that help us accomplish our goals. Sometimes we latch onto ideas that might not be exactly accurate in our quest for increased performance.

Here are 4 Paradoxes to look for:

Conventional Wisdom # 1: Good ideas create success. Paradox: Everybody has ideas. Trying to find good ideas leads to nothing.  Everybody can be creative. Combining the idea with the execution is what creates a winner. In order to create a winner you need to stop focusing on the finish line, but rather the problem to be solved and the journey that you take.

“A great idea is worthless; execution is everything.”
― Matthew Weiner

Conventional Wisdom # 2: Focusing on your-self leads to improvement.Paradox: Focusing on self-improvement does not help you improve yourself. Helping others is what helps you improve. You must focus on helping others grow. You grow by not focusing on yourself but by helping others.

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.”
– Napolean Hill

Conventional Wisdom # 3: The more you do, the better your life. Paradox:Doing more means you actually do less. Being busy wastes time. Your focus is not clear, your energy is not concentrated. Your results suffer. Also, the busier we are the less we actually live

. Living includes realizing the moment you are in and focusing on the current experience.

“There is nothing that the busy man is less busy with then living; there is nothing harder to learn.” – Seneca

Conventional Wisdom # 4: Connecting and interacting with like minded people helps in build strength and character. Paradox: We grow through change. We grow through adversity. Opening your mind to new ideas, to new people, and to new thought patterns is what will lead to all of us being able to combat some of the false teachings that have become so popular today. We grow stronger as we expand our mindset.

“The more closed your network, the more you hear the same ideas over and again, reaffirming what you already believe, while the more open your network, the more exposed you are to new ideas.”
― Whitney Johnson