Patience Wins

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6 Simple Life-Hacks The Most Successful Follow Daily


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Helping others is one reason we exist.

Growing up in home with a hardworking single-mom raising 6 kids, we received tons of “help”. My amazing mother did everything she could and more. Multiple jobs, days, evenings, whatever it took was her example and work ethic. Yet, kind community members took special care of us at times of need. Our church congregation stepped in on numerous occasions to fix the broken furnace, or fix a pipe leak, or mentor me and the other kids. Christmas was always a time when the neighbors stepped in to mysteriously drop off gifts and food for us. We felt loved and appreciated. Even though we needed help materially I learned about helping others from my Mom as well. While we couldn’t provide much monetarily, she taught us to share everything else. Her time, her love, her dedication.

These lessons have carried over into my professional life. Be yourself and give what you can

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. Don’t worry about not being able to help in a specific way, just help in the way you can. The more we can learn the more we can help, as long as we take action. Often experience is the best teacher. Sometimes we learn slowly or need lessons repeated. Humans thrive on experience. Some of the experiences that I have been blessed to learn from my mom and my community are simple life-hacks that create a better life for all of us:

1. Focus on the GOOD. We choose our thoughts. Our thoughts create our reality. Since we can choose our thoughts life’s better when we focus on the positive. Focus on the good and that is what you will find. The more good you look for, the more your will find it. Show gratitude. Grateful people are happier…fact. It is fun to be around grateful people…fact. Focus on what you have and the good you can do.

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” -Oprah Winfrey

2. Spend time ALONE. Noise and commotion can create energy, they also prevent us from thinking clearly. It is important to spend time alone each day to prioritize your thoughts and ideas. Emotionally intelligent people understand their own emotions, and developing that awareness takes time alone.

“Solitude isn’t just a professional plus; it’s also good for your mental and emotional well-being. To get the most out of life, you must learn to enjoy spending time alone.” – Dr. Travis Bradberry

3. Develop your VISION. Find your “why”. Once you know why you exist, then do whatever it takes to make your dreams a reality. Your vision is your purpose combined with the actions you are willing to take. Take massive action toward your dreams, let your vision guide you. Define what you want. Decide to act. Then ACT.

“Your passion is for you. Your purpose is for others.” – Jay Shetty

4. Surround yourself with BUILDERS. Negative thinking hurts performance. Find people who will build you up and hang around them. You will become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose wisely. Find builders. Be a builder.

“If you can’t help people, then what is the point of being successful?” – Matt Damon

5. Learn from MISTAKES. Find a different way to achieve your objective. The way that didn’t work is a tool to find new ways that will work. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be humble enough to change course. Admit temporary setbacks, take the lesson and create your future success.

“I don’t really believe in the notion of “mistakes” because I’ve seen that everything that happens can be for our highest good, if we learn the right lessons and integrate them for our growth.” – Kathy Caprino

6. Be VULNERABLE. Share your own personal truth and expect the best in others. Do what you know is right because it is who you are. Vulnerability is the opposite of fear, it is the opposite of selfishness. Share yourself in order to help others.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” – Brene Brown

Seven (7) Really Good Vince Lombardi Quotes


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1. “Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.”

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. “If you aren’t fired-up with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.”

3. “Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work…”

4. “Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”

5. “The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.”

6. “Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.”

7. “Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is.”

What The Best Leaders Do That Other’s Won’t

We were on the 5th floor of our downtown corporate headquarters.  It was our weekly sales meeting with bunch a uber-successful sales executives for our company. Our leader had been with the company since it was founded almost 30 years before. He was a legend. Young leaders can learn from experienced leaders on how to help others. This is what I learned:

Every week we had our “sales team call”. This call was to discuss opportunities, track progress and most importantly come up with solutions and make decisions. At least that is what I thought. Really it was the way our leader helped us overcome our challenges. Our leader would post a question to make it seem like he had a certain problem, or we as a team had that problem. In reality, he was addressing a specific personal issue one of us was facing. He knew what each of our strengths and weaknesses were and used these meetings to help us overcome our personal obstacles. He then would ask each of us for our own solutions and ideas. Everyone got to voice their opinion. Everyone felt heard. Our leader knew where he was going with the questioning and what would help us the most. The leader would pick and choose which answers made the most sense according to his years of experience and then he then would help us feel like we came up with the solution on our own. Then he would give us the confidence we needed and send us on our way. He lead us in the right direction. As a team we overcame challenges together. Our boss guided us and gave us the tools we needed. He was a true leader.

Good leaders have vision. Great leaders inspire. The BEST leaders have vision, inspire and help others overcome obstacles to accomplish the vision.

The “Best Leaders” do some things consistently:

  1. They Coach
  2. They Inspire Action
  3. They Provide Feedback
  4. They Show Extreme Patience
  5. They Are Never Jealous
  6. They Embrace Change
  7. They Show Gratitude
  8. They Are Open Minded
  9. They Help Others Develop Talents
  10. They Stand Up for Others

In order to build up these abilities it takes thoughtful practice. It takes being self-aware and exercising deliberate practice. A way to speed up self-awareness is by studying others and then comparing your actions to those who are already successful. You can do this by reading biographies and journaling.

First, read the biographies of people who have overcome great challenges. Then connect the the times they overcame the obstacles to the traits they were exhibiting. Next, journal your thoughts. Take a self-assessment of your current mindset. Dive deep and become more self-aware by writing down what you think and plan ahead for what you need to do to become better.

Self-awareness and gaining knowledge only becomes valuable when action is taken. Take action. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from others. Think. Ponder. Reflect. Focus on helping others take action. Use your vision to help others overcome their problems. Even the biggest walls can be torn down with enough help. Help others overcome the walls that are blocking their success.

The more you help others succeed, the more you will succeed. Leaders are created. You become a better leader by helping others.

Outward Mindset


mess up

I have messed up a lot of situations. Usually I blamed others. Most of the time it was my fault.

My oldest son turns 5 tomorrow. Like any father, I think he is an all-star. I love him more than anything. I blame him too often for random acts of annoyance. I take him for granted. I mess up. When I think about him instead of myself though, I stop messing up. That is how it usually is with most relationships.

In my first post-college sales role I knew I was right. I felt my boss was wrong. She wasn’t my real boss. She was just filling in for a week while the official sales manager was out of town. She was good at what she did. I “thought” I was good too. We just had different styles to get the same results. We were helping small business owners create a better online presence. My method took a bit longer to help the buyer make a decision, I felt I was more consultative. She wanted me to work faster. I thought I was helping better by doing it my way. She wanted me to help more people. She was right. I was right. It didn’t matter. We needed to move beyond right wrong.

Your mindset is the foundation of all you do. All actions were first thoughts. Your experiences and their meaning are determined by your mindset. Often people treat us how we expect to be treated. Not all the time, but our inner-view comes out and is manifested in our physical lives.

When it comes to learning and development Carol Dweck teaches that there are two main ways to view the world: with a “fixed” or a “growth” frame of mind

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. Everything we do is predicated on how we view our ability to adapt. Relationships are the same. We can either grow or allow the relationship to become stale, to stagnate. Stagnation leads to sickness, disease, death etc…

My mindset adjusted the first time after reading Leadership and Self-Deceptionwhen my friend and advisor Dan Mower gave it to me. Then I learned it again when I read the Anatomy of Peace. This week I relearned all those lessons and really gained a deeper appreciation for how to apply them by reading the latest book byThe Arbinger Institute: The Outward Mindset. The book comes out June 13th – I was fortunate to get an early copy! (Thanks James Ferrell) This is probably the most important “business” book I have read. Ever. This book helps us develop as leaders by looking beyond ourselves and focusing on helping others and the team as a way to overcome our own limitations.

When it comes to relationships, leadership, and team performance The Arbinger Institute has developed a framework that simplifies all of our human interactions and then helps us overcome our personal shortcomings. The Arbinger Institute helps people move beyond right and wrong. Moving past who is right vs. who is wrong might be the hardest interpersonal skill anyone can develop. It takes practice, effort, and commitment. It takes the ability to change your mindset.

In Arbinger’s powerful new book: The Outward Mindset, we are taught that there are two specific mindsets, how they impact performance and relationships, and what we can do to change. The ability to understand yourself and understand others is directly related to emotional intelligence. This framework goes much deeper than just being people smart. It works on motivation, outlook, and the ability to adjust personal perspective to help others and in the end make everyone, including yourself, a winner.

The Arbinger Institute’s two “mindsets”:

The Inward Mindset

Thinking only of yourself. Seeing others as objects. When you have an inward mindset you are focused only on your objectives. Most of the time, because you are so focused on yourself, you have no idea where you are… this includes your own mindset. Most people in the inward mindset have no idea that they are there. People with an inward mindset think other people are the problem and cannot even consider the idea that they might be the cause of their own problems.

The Outward Mindset

With an outward mindset the individuals focus on the goals and objectives of the team. They see others as human rather than objects. People with an outward mindset love to help and never blame others. They see every situation as a reason to grow and learn and do what it takes to make those around them better. They focus on empathy for the team and for the individual. People with an outward mindset “see others”. They have empathy and focus on collective goals over personal objectives.

In order to change your personal mindset and your team’s mindset there is a pattern to follow:

  1. Start with your mindset. Find out where you are and where you want to go.
  2. Change first, do not expect others to change.
  3. Allow yourself to change. Give yourself permission.
  4. Take responsibility for the outcomes.
  5. Work on erasing distractions.
  6. Develop systems for you and your team that help turn mindsets outward.

The problem with changing from an inward mindset to an outward mindset is actually realizing that you are wrong in the first place. Admitting that you are focused on yourself is either hard to do or if we do see it, we find ways to justify it. We can explain away most of our behaviors. This leads to more denial and avoidance. No results.

While there is no exact way to do this, asking questions that put the blame inward helps us focus on the outward. Having questions to go along with the pattern creates a good template.

We can reflect and should ask ourselves:

  • How am I creating this problem?
  • What can I do differently?
  • What did I do wrong?
  • How can I help?
  • What does the other person need?

Once we stop blaming others for our situation we can find true progress.The change has to come from within by looking out. We must adjust our focus and then our vision can become clear.

Life is about our experiences and relationships. Developing and outward mindset helps us increase the quality of both. As we develop an outward mindset all of our relationships will improve. We will be happier. We will all find more success. It worked for me. Even though I need to strive for this everyday, I know working toward adjusting my mindset dramatically improves everything important in my life.

Your Turn: What advice can you give to help us change our focus from inward to outward? Please share your experiences and expertise. 

The 6 Keys to Overcoming Any Obstacle


Problems and mistakes do not define you. They only allow yourself to write your story. Your actions are your story. Your “personal definition” is the summary of your actions.

Why do challenges and struggles make some people stronger and make others weaker? How is it that some teams/people come back from devastating defeats while others simply give-up? What are the keys that unlock potential?

These are the questions that former Navy SEAL Dennis McCormack and co-authors George Everly Jr., and Douglas Strouse, examine in their book ‘Stronger: Develop the Resilience You Need to Succeed‘. Resilience is an individual’s ability to properly adapt to adversity and stress. Adversity could be viewed as simply as any-time something does not go as planned or as complex as when there is someone actively trying to prevent you from accomplishing your goals.

People who display resilience are able to overcome setbacks and accomplish greatness. The authors state that the five characteristics needed to develop resilience are:

  1. Active Optimism. It is not just a belief, or idealistic view, but rather the ability to see the desired outcome that then creates positive action.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston S. Churchill

  1. Decisive Action. Once the optimism is in place, you must be decisive and act in order to recover from setbacks. You can and must gain the courage to make difficult decisions.

“…the cure for most obstacles is, Be decisive.” – George Weinberg

  1. Moral Compass. We must let integrity, honor, ethical actions, and fidelity guide our decisions under demanding circumstances.

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius

  1. Relentless Tenacity: Determination. It is bring determined to finish and persistent enough to carry out your desires.

“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.” – H. Ross Perot

  1. Interpersonal Support. It is important to know who is on your team and how they support you.

“Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

As achievers and dreamers, we have goals. How do we reach them? How do we achieve our objectives? Some people have begun to call resilience by another word, they call it grit. One of the pioneers in this field of study is Angela Duckworth. Through her research Dr. Duckworth has found that grit is the quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals amidst obstacles.

In one of my favorite books, Mindset, by Carol Dweck, the author teaches:

“…no matter what your ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.”

These Secrets are the 6 Keys to Developing Personal Resilience (Grit)

  1. Always Take Action – inertia is powerful. The more time is wasted, the weaker our resolve becomes. Fortune favors the bold. Doing is always best.
  2. Always Release Stress/Tension – find a way to unwind and express emotions: draw, journal, meditate, speak to a personal friend, exercise, create art, write letters to others….
  3. Always Be Learning – learn from mistakes, learn from success, learn from others (watch, observe, ask questions, read)
  4. Always Stay Connected – people who are resilient have other people they rely on. Be that friend for others. Make emotional deposits into your friendship bank for a time when you might be low.
  5. Always Adapt – be flexible. Our expectations often dictate our emotional response, expect change and adapt to the current reality.
  6. Always Follow Your Why – know and understand your purpose, your true motivation. When the storms of life are raging, your “why”, your purpose becomes the safe haven, the place you can always retreat to, regroup, and then start again. Follow your own desires, not those of others.

We will always be facing obstacles. The ability to overcome these challenges is what leads to success

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. Resilience is the strength to overcome setbacks and press forward with a singular focus and dedicated purpose. In order to achieve your own personal greatness – make sure to work hard, feel your emotions, learn, help others, adjust, and stay grounded with your values.

Sales is About Helping People


Sales is about helping 


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